Baby Refusing the Breast: Nursing Strikes, Causes and Solutions

Yesterday he was feeding without a fuss. This morning, baby refuses the breast: he arches his back, turns his head away, cries as soon as you bring him close. You feel rejected and worried, and relatives are already concluding that he “doesn't want your milk any more”. In most cases, this is not weaning. It is a nursing strike, a sudden and temporary refusal.

It almost always has a cause, sometimes easy to find, sometimes never identified. While waiting for baby to come back to the breast, there are two priorities: that he drinks enough, and that your milk supply holds.

Nursing strike or weaning: how to tell the difference?

A strike is sudden and comes with crying or frustration. The American WIC programme describes it in a baby who had been feeding well for months and suddenly refuses the breast. It most often happens between 3 and 8 months, according to the journal Contemporary OB/GYN, and usually lasts a few days.

Spontaneous weaning is gradual: baby spaces out the feeds without distress. It is rare before 1 year, and the same journal considers it unlikely before 9 months. If you are the one who wants to stop, our article on gentle weaning will guide you.

In a newborn, the refusal often has another origin: a hard latch, a baby who is too hungry or very sleepy. That is a different situation, covered further down.

Why does baby push the breast away?

The causes fall into four families. American, Quebec and French sources cite the same ones.

He is in pain or can't breathe well

• Blocked nose: baby cannot suck and breathe at the same time. He lets go, gets worked up, tries again. A nasal wash before the feed often changes everything.
• Teething: sore gums make sucking uncomfortable. See our article on teething.
• Ear infection: WIC and Contemporary OB/GYN cite it among the frequent causes. A baby who cries while feeding, with a recent cold or a fever, should be examined. More on ear infections in babies.
• Thrush or mouth ulcers: thrush shows up as white patches.
• Pain elsewhere: a sore thigh after a vaccine, a stiff neck, a position that presses on a sore spot.

The milk comes too fast, or too slowly

A strong let-down makes baby cough and choke, with milk running down his face. The INSPQ advises taking him off for a few seconds, until the jet calms down, then putting him back to the breast. A semi-reclined position also slows the flow. Conversely, a drop in production can discourage baby: see our article on low milk supply.

He is distracted or upset

Around 4 months, the world becomes fascinating: baby lets go of the breast at the slightest noise. The journal Contemporary OB/GYN classes this restlessness between 2 and 4 months as a developmental stage, not a strike. A trip, a house move, a separation, going back to work or a very lively family visit can also set off a refusal.

Something has changed with you

• A new smell: soap, perfume, cream, deodorant. After the hammam, a strongly scented soap or oil can be enough.
• A different taste to the milk, for example during mastitis, when it becomes saltier.
• Your reaction to a bite: a cry of surprise can frighten baby and keep him away from the breast for a while.

How to help him come back to the breast

The golden rule: never force. A forced feed creates a negative association with the breast. These steps, cited by WIC, the INSPQ and La Leche League France, often help:

1. Make use of drowsiness. Offer the breast when baby is barely waking or falling asleep: he then feeds by reflex, without bracing against it.
2. Do it somewhere calm, in a dimly lit room, with no television or conversation. A nursing cover or a light veil can cut out distractions.
3. Do more skin-to-skin, baths together, babywearing. Contact without pressure recalls the breast without imposing it.
4. Change position. Football hold, semi-reclined, walking or rocking him. Our guide to breastfeeding positions describes them.
5. Trigger the let-down before putting him to the breast, by expressing a little milk by hand, so he is rewarded straight away. If the jet is too strong, do the opposite: let the first jet pass.
6. Offer before he is very hungry. A starving, crying baby finds it harder to latch. If he is too worked up, give him a little milk another way, then try again.
7. Treat the cause when it is identified: nasal wash, soothing the gums, an ear check.

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How to keep your milk supply during the strike

Express your milk about as often as baby used to feed, recommends WIC. This maintains production and prevents engorgement, blocked ducts, even mastitis. Our article on expressing milk by hand or with a pump explains both methods. The guide to choosing a breast pump helps if the strike drags on.

Expressed milk can be given with a teaspoon, a cup, a syringe or a dropper. Naître et grandir and WIC suggest these methods, which feed baby without diverting his need to suck away from the breast. For settling in during these “winning him back” feeds, a well-placed nursing pillow frees your arms.

And what about a newborn who feeds poorly?

A newborn who cries at the breast, turns his head from side to side or lets go of the nipple often has trouble latching. Naître et grandir advises keeping him against you, offering the breast at the first signs of waking, before the crying, and temporarily giving him your milk with a spoon or a small cup. Qualified help is valuable at this stage: it checks the latch and looks for a restrictive tongue-tie.