Child Who Won't Sleep (Ages 2 to 6): Bedtime Routine, Limits and Real Causes

9:30 pm. Third glass of water, second trip to the toilet, a story that is "really the last one". Your 3-year-old comes out of their room for the fifth time, and you can feel your patience wearing thin. A child who won't sleep is one of the most common difficulties between ages 2 and 6: according to the French site Santé.fr, 20 to 30% of children under 6 have sleep problems.

The good news: in the vast majority of cases it is not a serious disorder, but a rhythm or a routine to adjust. You still need to find the real cause, because resistance at bedtime sometimes hides another one.

How much sleep does a child aged 2 to 6 need?

Less than a baby, but more than you might think. The WHO and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, as relayed by the Canadian Paediatric Society, give these guidelines per 24 hours, nap included:

These figures are ranges: some children are light sleepers, others heavy sleepers. A child who wakes in a good mood and gets through the day without collapsing probably sleeps enough. For younger ones, our article on sleep needs from 0 to 3 years details the guidelines.

Why your child refuses to go to bed

Naître et grandir and Santé.fr list several families of causes. Often, several combine.

• Bedtime falls at the wrong time. Too early, and your child is not sleepy. Too late, and they pass the peak of tiredness and become overexcited, aggressive or tearful.
• The nap is too late or too long. The Canadian Paediatric Society advises avoiding naps late in the afternoon. Our article on naps helps you place them.
• Evening screens. Studies show that too much screen time harms sleep, Naître et grandir points out.
• A day that is too sedentary: little outdoor play, little daylight, dinner eaten just before bed.
• A need for attention that was not met during the day. Bedtime becomes the moment to hold on to mum or dad.
• Refusal that has become a game: every exit from the bedroom triggers a reaction, and your child starts over.
• A worry: fear of the dark or of monsters, separation anxiety, a move, the start of school, a new baby, parents separating.
• A physical cause: teething, fever, blocked nose, digestive troubles, asthma, or a breathing problem during sleep.

In Morocco, summer evenings, late family dinners and Ramadan nights also push bedtimes later. Nothing is forbidden now and then, but the WHO points out the value of regular bedtimes and waking times.

Screens: the first thing to change

Switch off all screens at least an hour before bedtime, recommend the American Academy of Pediatrics and Naître et grandir. Television, tablets and phones do not belong in the bedroom, adds the Canadian Paediatric Society. The cartoon "to calm them down" often has the opposite effect.

The WHO recommends at most one hour of screen time a day between ages 2 and 4, and less is better. Our article on screens and young children details these guidelines and suggests alternatives.

A short, predictable routine, always in the same order

A good routine prepares for separation. Naître et grandir recommends that it lasts about 15 minutes, with the same calm gestures every evening. The American Academy of Pediatrics sums up the idea in three steps: brush teeth, read a book, go to bed.

1. Warn them in advance: "After your bath, it's story time and bed." A child who knows what is coming resists less.
2. Check they are neither hungry nor thirsty before you begin.
3. Always go in the same order: wash, pyjamas, teeth, story, cuddle, lights out.
4. Set the limits in advance, such as the number of books, advises the Canadian Paediatric Society. Two stories means two stories.
5. End with a ritual phrase, always the same, then leave.

Start the routine before tiredness spills over: yawning, red eyes or, on the contrary, sudden restlessness. The main principles of the bedtime ritual apply from early childhood.

They keep getting up: setting limits kindly

The Canadian Paediatric Society sums up the attitude to adopt: gentle but firm. When your child comes out of their room, walk them back to bed calmly, with few words and the same phrase. No argument, no extra story, no screen to negotiate. If every exit triggers a long discussion, the game goes on.

For a child who needs reassurance, Naître et grandir suggests telling them they can sleep peacefully because you are very close by, in the living room. Santé.fr insists on a routine without a prolonged adult presence in the bedroom and on the habit of sleeping in their own bed. And the bed must never be used as a punishment.

Fear of the dark: reassuring without feeding the fear

Fear of the dark and of monsters is among the common fears at this age, notes Naître et grandir. Take it seriously without amplifying it. The Quebec site advises against offering to "chase the monsters" out of the bedroom: simple, reassuring words are better, along with reminding your child that you are very close.

A transitional object, a doudou or soft toy, can help, notes the Canadian Paediatric Society. A night light or projector with a soft glow also lets your child recognise their room if they open their eyes. Choose a low light, one that does not turn the bedroom into a playroom. If tearful wakings keep happening in the night, our article on nightmares and night terrors helps you tell the difference.

From the shop

For a reassuring bedtime

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Products sold by La Maison du Bébé, publisher of this magazine. Prices as of 12 October 2026; please check the product page.

Snoring, sleep apnoea: the signs that call for a doctor

Sometimes a child sleeps badly because they breathe badly. The Mayo Clinic describes the signs of obstructive sleep apnoea in children: loud snoring with pauses in breathing, restless sleep, mouth breathing, night sweats, and bedwetting that returns after a long dry period. In the daytime, they may have morning headaches, be sleepy, restless, impulsive or struggle to concentrate.

The most common cause in young children is the size of the tonsils and adenoids. The Canadian Paediatric Society reminds us: a child who snores loudly and regularly should be seen by a doctor. And if bedwetting worries you, see our article on bedwetting.