How Long Does It Take to Get Pregnant? The Normal Wait, and What Really Helps

You stopped contraception three months ago. At the end of every cycle, hope, then your period. And around you, the question keeps coming, sometimes from the first year of marriage. So how long to get pregnant, when all is well? Longer than you often imagine, and that is normal.

Here are the real numbers, month by month, what genuinely improves the chances, the myths you can let go of, and the moment when it becomes useful to see a doctor.

Why does it often take several months?

Because in each cycle, pregnancy is only a possibility, even when everything works. Ovulation has to happen, the sperm have to be in the right place at the right time, fertilisation has to succeed and the embryo has to implant. Any of these steps can fail in a given month without signalling the slightest problem.

The Quebec guide Mieux vivre (INSPQ) puts the chance of fertilisation, with intercourse in the fertile window, at about one in four at 20, and about one in twenty at 40. In other words, even at the best age, three cycles out of four do not result in a pregnancy. The detail by age bracket is in our article on fertility by age.

Chances month after month: what studies say

The numbers add up over the cycles, and that is what counts.

• The first months are the most favourable: the ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine) notes that the chance per cycle is highest during the first three months of trying.
• Within 6 months, the same society estimates that about 80% of couples have conceived.
• Within 1 year, according to Britain's NICE, more than 80% of couples conceive when the woman is under 40 and intercourse is regular.
• Within 2 years, about half the couples who did not conceive in the first year manage it in the second, bringing the total above 90% (NICE).

NICE breaks these chances down by the woman's age, for intercourse about twice a week:

Conversely, the NHS recalls that after more than three years of trying, the chance of a natural pregnancy in the following year falls to one in four or less. That is why you should not let too much time pass before asking for advice.

What really increases the chances

Regular intercourse, without a rigid calendar

This is the simplest lever. NICE recommends intercourse every 2 to 3 days, throughout the cycle. The ASRM adds that daily or every-other-day intercourse during the fertile window is the most effective, but that two to three times a week gives an almost equivalent result. The fertile window covers the five days before ovulation and the day itself: to spot it, see our guide to ovulation and fertile days.

For couples who live apart for part of the time, when the husband works in another city or abroad for example, the wait mechanically lengthens. It is not a fertility problem: there are simply fewer “useful” cycles. Tell the doctor if you consult, who will take it into account.

Stopping smoking, together

NICE is clear: smoking probably reduces a woman's fertility, passive smoking may also play a part, and in men it is associated with poorer sperm quality. It is probably the most worthwhile change.

Aiming for a healthy weight

According to NICE, a woman with a BMI of 30 or more generally takes longer to conceive, and a BMI of 30 or more in a man is associated with reduced fertility. At the other extreme, marked underweight with irregular periods also interferes with ovulation.

Limiting alcohol, keeping coffee reasonable

Regular alcohol consumption is associated with lower fertility, and the ASRM recalls that no amount is known to be safe in pregnancy: the NHS therefore advises avoiding it from the moment you start trying. As for coffee, one to two cups a day have no apparent effect according to the ASRM; only heavy consumption (more than five cups) is associated with lower fertility. The Mayo Clinic gives a guide of around one to two cups a day. What is known about the rest of the plate is gathered in our feature on food and fertility.

Myths: what is no use

• Lying down with your legs in the air after intercourse: no scientific basis, according to the ASRM. Sperm reach the tubes in about fifteen minutes.
• Choosing a particular position: position has no effect on the chances of pregnancy.
• “Saving” sperm by spacing out intercourse: on the contrary, more than 5 days of abstinence can reduce sperm quality.
• Grandmother's recipes or herbalist mixtures to “open up” fertility: none has been proven, and some delay a useful consultation.

And if it takes longer?

Nothing abnormal as long as you are within the timeframes: under 12 months of trying before 35, under 6 months after. The WHO defines infertility as the absence of pregnancy after 12 months of regular unprotected intercourse, and recalls that it can come from the man, the woman, both, or remain unexplained.

If you are coming off contraception, the wait can be a little longer depending on the method: this is explained in our article on stopping the pill and the return of fertility. And when the waiting weighs on your morale, which is common, our article on infertility experienced as a couple can help you talk about it.